Wednesday, April 16, 2008

There Will Be Blood

1 - Man falls into mineshaft, breaks leg
2 - Man with broken leg crawls across an enormous desert, and learns that he's found hisself some BLACK GOLD!
3 - Poorly co...(read more)nstructed pulley system falls into oil well, killing a man
4 - Broken leg man, now healed, feeds high-proof alcohol to now-fatherless infant (see #3)
5 - All manner of crazy religious zealotry and creepy healings and castin' outs a' satan
6 - Drill Piston is knocked into well, graphically killing yet another unforunate employee of Crazy Daniel Day-Lewis Inc.
7 - Oil Well Explodes
8 - Once-Fatherless-and-fed-high-proof-alcohol-as-a-baby-now-adopted-and-raised-by-Crazy-Daniel-Day--Lewis is deafened in the explosion.
9 - Crazy DDL beats up creepy preacher man
10 - CDDL's crazy fake brother shows up
11- O-F-a-f-h-p-a-b-n-a-a-r-b-CDDL (Deaf Boy) (see #8) lights fake brothers bed on fire
12 - CDDL abandons deaf son on a train. Believe it.
13 - CDDL finds out Fake Brother is a Fake and shoots him in the head
14 - CDDL threatens to slit a man's throat for pretty much no reason (this one is way out of order but i didn't want to renumber)
15 - CDDL fake converts to creepy Christian sect
16 - Deaf son returns years in the future to find CDDL a rich raving drunk. CDDL calls him a bastard in a basket and then gets told off, SIGN-LAGUAGE STYLE!
17 - Creepy preacher shows up looking for money, CDDL makes him denounce God, makes a weird intense Milkshake analogy and beats CP to death with a bowling pin from his private alley.

that's all you need to know.

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