Girls.

The battle of the sexes has raged, and cuddled, since the dawn of man. and woman.
Why is the conflict so heated, and why have we failed to draw up satisfactory terms for a ceasefire?

I have an answer.

1. Cafe Rio
96% of females (in a made-up-in-my-head-blind-study) raved, gushed, or clapped when Cafe Rio/Costa Vida was introduced into the study environment. Why is that? Why are the majority of females so united in their love of this ethnically non-noncommittal delicacy? Is it genetic? Does the extra X chromosome contain some sort of tex-mex craving?
Theory: Despite the fact that, depending upon the amount of south-o'-the-border fixins, most Cafe Rio dishes bestow you with ~1300 calories, they are, conspicuously, salads. Under this definitional guise, women are free to enjoy mounds of meat, geographies of produce, and a fried tortilla large enough to be incorporated into the famed opening ceremonies of the Beijing games.