Monday, April 21, 2008

Self-Actualization

I kept a promise to myself today, and it felt wonderful.

Once upon a time, I promised myself that if I ever found a pair of black Adidas superstars, in my size, for under fifty dollars, I'd buy them on the spot.

Today, I found those superstars, and snatched them from the shelf like an eagle snatches a baby from its mother's arms. What?

I've been thinking. I felt better today than I have in perhaps the last two weeks. Why is that?
It's because I kept that promise. I reached back to a previous self and a torch was passed. It has been a long time since I have lived up to my own expectations.

Maybe I just need to set smaller goals for myself. Achievement always makes me feel good, even if I'm not achieving anything effectual. I need to construct my days of small, worthless milestones so that I can feel like I've accomplished something.

What can I promise myself tonight? What can I shred so I might leave a trail of breadcrumbs back to acceptance?

The next time someone asks about my friend, I will have only good to say.

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