...and it came to me then

...that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time."
- Death Cab for Cutie

Recently I have come to believe this. And father time is not answering my prayers.

The last two years have been a consistent string of disappointments. It seems as if every one of my plans has fallen through. I was spectacularly binned by both a woman and a country in the space of one week. After a year of confessions and flayed pride I had the rug pulled unceremoniously from beneath me, only to become a bullet point on someone's ecclesiastical résumé. I sometimes feel like, a la Little Pete and Artie, I'm trying to beat up the Atlantic Ocean.
I'm keeping my feet moving. I'm throwing punches.

The strange thing is that in the fevered brevity between landed blows, I find gratitude. I have learned so much.

"When meeting calamities or difficult situations, it is not enough to simply say that one is not at all flustered. When meeting difficult situations, one should dash forward bravely and with joy. It is the crossing of a single barrier and is like the saying, "The more the water, the higher the boat." - Tsunetomo Yamamoto, Hagakure